I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
