I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize