how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
