Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
