My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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