At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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