The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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