Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
