YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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