he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Did I show you my penis last night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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