I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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