My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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