My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
