Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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