Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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