Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
