Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
