I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
