Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
