Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
