I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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