who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
