I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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