Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
