But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
