Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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