I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you inspire me to be a worse person
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
