I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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