Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
