You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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