I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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