I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
