Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
