i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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