guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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