i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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