is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
