just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just wanna soil my oats bro
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
