I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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