who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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