my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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