At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
