does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
