Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
