in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
