It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
