yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
