You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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