I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
