check it out our google latitudes are spooning
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
