just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
