I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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