We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Vodka?
Forever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
