We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
