I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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