You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
