Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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