She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
