I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
