I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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