Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You need a sexual gate keeper
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
