Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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