theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize