did you get engaged???
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
